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(no subject) [Sep. 23rd, 2006|02:16 am]
holiday plan fun:

mon 02/10: travel up to london
tue 03/10: travel to manchester
wed 04/10: mcr; karly's birthday
thu 05/10: mcr
fri 06/10: travel to london
sat 07/10: london
sun 08/10: london
mon 09/10: travel to bristol; travel to exeter
tue 10/10: exeter
wed 11/10: exeter
thu 12/10: travel to bristol; travel to colchester
fri 13/10: london, simon & amanda's wedding
sat 14/10: london, simon & amanda's wedding
sun 15/10: london, simon & amanda's wedding
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advice [Aug. 6th, 2006|02:57 pm]
[Current Location |CO7 9NR]
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |the boy least likely to - faith [george michael cover]]


• never re-enact a bad situation from three years ago. if it didn't end well then, it's unlikely to now.
• if you get up weds at 0730 and only have 6hrs sleep between then and going to work at 0830 sat, don't expect to be chirpy and perky
• others shouldn't expect you to be chirpy and perky either
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events [Jul. 16th, 2006|11:35 pm]
convo with the other night:

ross: mister men mini-milk type ice creams are a good girth for comfortable sucking. is there any real need for the penis to exceed this during fellatio? discuss. x
lins: my mother agrees with you. i on the other hand do not allow penises into my mouth so can't really comment.
ross: i'm not enjoying the thought of your mother fellating. as you're highly likely to tell her this, tell her that it's honestly nothing personal and no slur on her in the slightest.
lins: cathy says the feeling is mutual
ross: :D
ross: i promise never, irrespective of alcohol imbibed, to compare notes
ross: for the sake of EVERYONE


today's event:

adam: dont worry i'm sure someone in the world likes you
ross: hmm
ross: not the woman who lives with and looks after my nan
ross: she's nigerian or zimbabwean or something
ross: not sure
ross: anyway, over at nan's today she did the usual "so, are you married yet then?"
ross: and mum eventually was like "mum [my nan] doesn't known but he's never going to get married. he doesn't like girls like that" or something
ross: and she was like "oh no, i'm sure it's just a phase"
ross: and mum was like "no"
ross: and then in front of me she started asking how on earth mum was ok about it and saying "oh, i wish he wasn't [gay]" and started to talk about religious crap
ross: REALLY fucking pissed me off but i couldn't cause a scene in front of nan
ross: been in a fucking rancid mood all day since
ross: so, yeah, that was nice
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clearout again [Jun. 25th, 2006|04:12 pm]

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you got a leak in your colostomy bag... [Jun. 14th, 2006|01:03 pm]
[Current Location |ex4 6jl]
[mood |jubilantjubilant]
[music |sigur rós - saeglopur]

...it's got a hole in, hole in, hole in


so, i'm back down in devon for a bit. ace. and the weather's properly feeling like summer -- there's sunshine, i'm almost tempted to make the general public suffer with the appearance of my naked legs beneath the knee. i'm also drinking koppaberg, so that's helping. with the summeriness, not me wearing shorts. for the time being, my legs will definitely remain fully clothed unless something ghastly should befall me.

got down here sunday night, straight to pub for food, drink and manly gossip. then back to springfield road where much southern comfort was imbibed, though not by me; no, instead it was drunk by those with exams on the monday. just because i have a job does NOT mean i have any form of social responsibility, thus i didn't stop them.


will continue updating this later. for the moment, i've just come back from the pub for the second time since waking up today. and just seen dion driving past and shouting at me?! madness but EXCITING
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'phoneage [May. 16th, 2006|01:00 pm]
[Current Location |co7 9nr]
[mood |boredbored]
[music |the rubettes - sugar baby love]

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clearout [Apr. 17th, 2006|03:56 pm]
[Current Location |co7 9nr]
[music |bright eyes - haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh]

clearout to keep my phone superfresh. and also so lj actually has a purpose at the moment.

inbox/outboxCollapse )
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(no subject) [Mar. 30th, 2006|09:35 pm]

tuesday. hippo. you're invited. you have to come. it'll be great. you'll buy me drinks. what could be better?

so yeah, i'll be in the pub basically as soon as i finish work. either that, or getting ready at karly's. and then cheap drinks in the playhouse, perhaps a stop off elsewhere [greenlands if the weather's nice?] and then on to the hippodrome. oh how cultural.

given previous experiences there:

a) it might be christmas
b) there might be a conga line outside afterwards. with lesbians. in bad skirts
c) there might be a crazy guy inside dancing like a robot and looking like he's dressed in an eighties duvet cover
d) i might have simulated oral sex
e) with a girl
f) i might get thru over forty cigarettes
h) i might drink stella and die after half a pint

all going well, i'll be working ALL DAY on my birthday, and with the mother of all hangovers.

also to do for my birthday -- amsterdam and brighton. and possibly a reading ticket. because you need tickets to read these days. yeaaaaaaah

also: free days in the near future:

s 02 apr
th 06 apr after 1300
sa 08 apr
s 09 apr
w 12 apr
th 13 apr after 1300
f 14 apr
s 16 apr [in amsterdam]
m 17 apr [in amsterdam]
t 18 apr [in amsterdam]
th 20 apr
s 23 apr
t 25 apr
m 1 may [may fair in wivenhoe. everyone come! drugfest!!]
sa 6 may
t 9 may
th 11 may
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woo, religious joke. guaranteed to offend! [Mar. 30th, 2006|09:13 pm]
[Current Location |OOH, LOCATION! THIS IS NEW!]
[mood |chipperCHIPPER!]
[music |the cure -- love cats]

ok, so like almost a fortnight ago, there i am, helping mum do the weekly shop at tesco. aside from being in the world's worst mood, i'm also hungover and feeling deader than... well, something very dead. your grandfather, perhaps.

but yeah, there i am, scowling away, swearing loudly under my breath and fighting with a trolley that's more unruly than your mother's minge when this trolley comes careering towards me, complete with toddler in the kiddy seat. and the mother pushing the trolley's obviously middle eastern, complete with traditional sack-of-spuds outfit. and the kid's shouting. shouting "DIE". i swear.

at this point i smile for the first time that day, having thought "blimey, al qaeda are training 'em young". a single to hull, please.
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gosh [Mar. 17th, 2006|12:21 am]
matt[hew] has updated! gosh!

in other news, tonight was the seven pub pubcrawl in wivenhoe

criminal activities tonight:

• being served drunk [black buoy]

• being served drunk [greyhound]

• theft [one cast-iron ashtray, three bartowels, one PACK of beermats; park hotel]

• being barred from a pub [park hotel]

• indecent exposure [opposite the council estate]

• indecent exposure [at the doctors' surgery]

• being served drunk [horse and groom]

• being served by drunks [horse and groom]

• indecent exposure [outside londis]

• being 'asked to leave' [the flag]

• indecent exposure [in the car park at londis]


in other other news:

a song, by ross:

when you cannot stand straight, when you urinate... that's amore
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